


The 5 Step Plan to Scamming an Angel

by OhMyGlobWhatthefrickamievendoing



Series: oneshots appreciating one (1) greedy boy [2]
Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: ??? - Freeform, AGAIN?, Did i write a fic just to appreciate mammon?, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, MC also kinda accidently being lowkey sleazy, MC being soft, Other, Praise Kink, Teasing, The answer is yes., they/them pronouns, unnamed MC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:22:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25508926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhMyGlobWhatthefrickamievendoing/pseuds/OhMyGlobWhatthefrickamievendoing
Summary: They place their bet. Five steps. That's all it'll take to utterly and thoroughly neutralize the Devildom's second most powerful demon.
Relationships: Main Character & Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Main Character/Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader
Series: oneshots appreciating one (1) greedy boy [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1847962
Comments: 19
Kudos: 362





	The 5 Step Plan to Scamming an Angel

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who has my whole ass heart!? Fuck

"So? Is it a deal?" 

They made an effort to keep their smile small. _Soft and Sweet_ Asmo's voice whispered in their head. _Just enough to draw them in before you **sucktheirbrainsouttatheirdi**_ \- Ew. No. There's a child here. What. _Jesus_.

Soft and sweet.

Right.

They bit the inside of their cheeks to fight anything that could be read as too smug or heaven - hell? - forbid as _manic_ , as Belphie had once put it. _How very pot-kettle of you Belphie._

"What?"

"Hmm?"

"You mentioned Belphegor..."

"Ah. No, just drifted off while you were deciding.... Which. _Have_ you decided?" They ask, eyeing their current companions. 

"About that!" Luke piped up from next to them, brows knotted in worry "Isn't it dangerous to say something like that! He's a _demon_. You don't know what he could do to you!"

"He is a demon," they say with a nod, twisting in their seat to scan the crowded courtyard till they spot Mammon. Even with RAD's usual lunchtime din they can tell he's being loud as he tries _and probably fails_ to scam some of the lower level demons. As though feeling their gaze he raises his head and catches their eye, startling and whipping his head back down. Their heart flutters even as a truly wicked smile spreads across their face _what was that Lucifer said about being careful of demons corrupting their soul?_

Schooling their face back into _soft and sweet_ they turn to face the others, "but I can take him."

Luke splutters.

"Take him down?" Solomon asks with clear interest.

"Utterly and thoroughly neutralized."

"Without using your pact?"

"Yep."

"The second most powerful demon?"

"Only if you're willing to bet on it."

"Angels don't gamble!" Luke says flustered. "You're a human he could _eat_ you but - but even if you insist on doing this we _are_ angels we can't gamb-"

"I must admit I am interested in seeing how exactly you'll do this. It _is_ a bit hard to believe," Simeon cuts in, as serene as ever.

"SIMEON!"

"Mammon may not always be...the brightest... but he is still one of the Devildom's most powerful demons. Ah, I guess I'm also interested to see what you'll do." Solomon says over Luke's indignant shriek.

"So it's a deal?"

"It's a deal."

"I suppose it is," Simeon says with a soft laugh.

"You guys can't be serious!?"

They look down at Luke, stamping down the urge to ruffle his hair, "It's okay Luke I've got this. You don't have to place a bet. And. Well. If things get out of hand I've got two angels to help me out right?"

"Right.... Right! Of course! We'll look out for you! Right Simeon?" Luke's face is flushed but his eyes are steely with resolve.

"Always." Simeon agrees softly

"Then what do we do now?" Solmon looks past them to where Mammon had been.

"We'll wait till he gets here. It won't take long." They twist in their seat again, to see Mammon has drifted even closer. It won't take long at all till Mammon's patience runs out and he stops pretending he hasn't been angling towards their table this whole time. 

Five minutes. 

Five fucking minutes. 

That's all it took. God. _Is that considered sinful when you're down in hell?_

They bite their lips to stop a snort from forming and subsequently choke on air as Mammon wedges himself into the nonexistent space between them and Luke with an elbow and a "Watch it pup."

"NOT A DOG!" Luke cries as they continue trying to hack up a lung.

"The fu-" Mammon's gaze darts quickly to a scowling Luke "heck's wrong with ya?" he snaps even as his hand worriedly rubs at their back.

They take a deep breath and finally look up. Luke has gotten up to sit next to an amused looking Solomon and an equally amused Simeon. _What the fuck kind of angel smiles as someone chokes to death!? Oh. Right. One who was friends with Lucifer._ "Nothing. Thought of something funny then my respiratory system tried to kill me. It happens."

"What the fu- heck's wrong with humans?"

"A lot." "A lot."

Their smile finally breaks out as Solomon shares an equally manic one.

_"Jeez."_

"Eh. It's fine we're used to it."

"Right.... So... what were ya talkin 'bout before?"

They smile a small secret smile to the others.

_Commence Operation._

"Oh, you know," 

Step 1. Turn towards him. 

"the weather." _It's cheesy._

 _"The weather."_ He cocks his head. _Cute._

Step 2. Shift closer.

"Yup." _It's terrible._  
  
"What's wrong with the weather?"

Step 3. Eye contact. 

"It's just, I sometimes wish the Devildom had a sun." _Would they have run screaming for the hills if someone tried this with them? Yes. Yes they would._

"Yeah!? What's so great 'bout the sun!? It's just bright and _hot._ We've got way better stuff!" He turns his head gesturing at the luminous plants and insects around them. His ears are red. _Cute!_

Step 4. Place a hand behind him on the bench and lean closer.

"I know," _But Mammon likes cheesy and terrible._

They raise their free hand. Brushing their fingers through his bangs and tucking a lock of hair behind his ear. He's frozen. They run their fingers behind his ear before they cup his cheek and carefully turn his head back towards them. His throat bobs as he swallows. Face red and eyes wide. His pupils shift to the slits more often seen in his demon form. Gently, their thumb caresses under his eye.

Step 5. The Finishing Blow.

"But you would look even more radiant in the sun's light."

* * *

"I hate you."

"Come on."

"You're the worst."

"Come onnnnnnnn."

"Absolutely evil."

"Mammonnnnnn."

"The cute act's not gonna work. Ya on my black book now! Ya hear!"

"Mammon come on it's not that bad!" It was. Oh Dear Go- Lord _it was_. With a hell raising shriek Mammon had flailed back, almost falling off the bench before collapsing on the table with a resounding _thunk_. Flaming red face hidden behind his hands, he hadn't moved till lunch had finished and the rest of the courtyard had eventually scattered. 

He had remained red and silent throughout the rest of their classes. 

To be fair they'd expected red faced stuttering. They hadn't expected _that_.

"It was and go away I'm not talkin to ya."

"I can't! We're both walking towards home."

"Well don't walk with me!"

"Come on! You love me!"

_"I DON'T!"_

Ah! His ears just turned red again. _Cute!_

"Well that's too bad then." They trot to catch up to him.

"Why's that?" His gaze darts to the side trying to catch theirs but they keep on looking ahead.

"Cause I love you."  
  
They continue walking even as he stutters to a stop. They count the seconds until he finally recovers and dashes after them. Pouncing on them, he slings an arm around their shoulders and ruffles their hair with the other. "Don't just say things like that!" He tries to growl but they can _hear_ the smile fighting to take over, even through their shrieking at the continued roughhousing.

"Why! It's not like you didn't know it!" They duck from under his arm and attack his sides with their fingers. 

Cackling as he leaps away from them, they finally catch a look at his face. Their smile freezes as he overcomes his own laughter and wipes away a stray tear. Blushing, beaming and beautiful. Even in the dim light of the Devildom he is absolutely _radiant_.

"Ah," their mind reels as they try to find their composure. They couldn't turn into a mushy, goopy mess in the middle of the street. "I thought you'd be proud of me."

"What?" He's regained his own composure but the lopsided smile has yet to leave his face. "'bout what?"

"Taking money from an angel. That's pretty smart isn't it?" 

They start walking again and Mammon follows, easily matching their pace. Eyes dancing with fondness, he snorts "Yeah, not bad for a puny human."

"Hey! You're barely taller than me!"

"Pfffft! You were okay but obviously _The_ Great Mammon could've won twice as much."

"Well I guess _The Great Mammon_ wouldn't fancy a little shopping trip with my meagre winnings."

"...a shopping trip?"

"Sure," bumping their hips together "a shopping trip. My treat."

"Right! It'd better be! As an apology to The Great Mammon." 

"I _am_ sorry you know."

They wrap an arm around his waist as he wraps one around their shoulder.

"Yeah?" He presses a soft kiss to their temple. 

"Hmm. I didn't mean to expose your praise kink."

_"OI!"_

**Author's Note:**

> Hey I hope you guys liked it AND I would love comments.... I feed off validation of any kind
> 
> Also come say hi on my om! tumblr side blog I'm always up for people screaming HCs at me or talking about their MCs  
> @well-shit-im-a-morosexual-now
> 
> Hope you have a great day!


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